My testimony is not an easy story to share but it is necessary for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. I have many times shared it online with radio and other places in order to encourage others that through Jesus can you become a overcomer.

I was born into a family where abuse had already begun years ago. My dad was mentally ill and an alcoholic and my mother was mentally ill. He would beat her.  She had my brother, Glen, a miscarriage who was flushed down a toliet, and then my sister Pamela. 

When my sister was 3 months old she was beaten and had been sexually abused by our dad. My mother was arrested and went to jail because a neighbor saw her through a window beating my sister. She was taken away from my parents until she was two years old. When she was returned to our parents, my other sister Sheila was one and our mother was pregnant with me.

My mother told me of a story that when she went into labor with me that she took a cab to the hospital. That she had to pull her dress between her legs to keep me from coming out of her. There were nuns back then working to help deliver babies. The nun told her you cant have the baby yet the doctor is not here and she tried to push my head back up inside my mother.

Our dad was already preying on my sisters and I when we were infants to teenagers.  Even after the divorce he still was allowed to come around and hurt us.

We lived in very poor ruined down houses because it was what our mother could afford. We didnt have alot of food because only my mother workednights, We continuely had headlice, roaches in our homes and mice. 

My brother Glen was our mother's favorite, the golden child who in her eyes could do no wrong. He was allowed to abuse us along with his friend Terry. They would hit us, twist towels around our necks until we passed out, run through the house naked, throw things at us, & peek through our bedroom windows at us dressing. 

One house we lived in, the three of us girls slept in one bed on a backporch with no heat or fan. There was alot of windows and ice on them on the inside. The kitchen door was locked then the backdoor my mother would lock when she went to work at nights. My sisters had a key to the lock but I did not. The reason is to try to keep my dad out of our room. And if we called her. she would get upset we bothered her at work.

She would cut off our hair off because of the headlice. Also so we would not entice of dad, as she put it. Our clothes were from thrift stores and we were made fun of in school. Our brother would get new clothes and school supplies.

Our dad would come in drunk and creep around on our bedroom floors trying to touch us. This is why locks were placed on our bedroom doors. He would spend the night outside our bedr. Our mother would find them and oom and try to get us to open the door by putting money under the door. He would do this until he heard our mother's keys in the backdoor, than he would run to their bedroom.

I know our dad always had alot of porn around under the mattress in their bedroom. He also like to gamble alot, he spent most his time playing poker at the pool hall and at the bars downtown.

When our dad left our mother and went to California, she got on food stamps and we ate better but never were allowed to have seconds, only our brother was allowed.

When our dad would call she would make my siters and I get on the phone and beg him to come home. He would even ask did your mother tell you to say this and we would say uh uh. 

She was very angry at my sisters and I cause we could not get him to come back home to her. He didn't like to work and if he did he never helped with bills, food or anything. He would climb up into the crawl space and stay up in the attic, naked for days. And would only come down at night to eat or try to get into our bedroom. His dad and brother in law came over to try to talk him down out of the attic.

At one house we had, he would sit out on top of the doghouse, naked and howl and the sheriff's dept would come laughing and get him off the doghouse and into the house. He was trying to get in through our bedroom window. It was our uncle and cousins of our dad's side ,who worked there. Our house was right across the street from them. 

Our dad would also run around in the woods naked by the railroad tracks when we lived in a house there. He alwasy did stuff like this. My sisters and I would arm ourselves with toys, brushes, etc. to protect ourselves with.

It was very hard to get up and go to school after being up all night dealing with a drunk who wanted to molest us. But we would arm ourselfves for the fight of our lives at night until morning and than have to get up and walk to school rain, slight or shine.

My mother would doctor up any marks, or bruises on us from our dad. This only happened to my sisters and I, and never our brother.  Our mother protected him always from oru dad.

I do remember one of his friends coming over to our house and telling our mother that our dad had molested their pets and burned their nephews with cigerettes on their arms and legs.

My mother also told me of a story that she and all us kids were walking home with her and we saw a dead body of a lady in the ally and she thought my dad had done it because he hated her.

I also remember alot of animal abuse in our home with dogs and cats. My mother made me hold one, as she picked out worms and sewed up it's leg. It was a poodle named FeFe. We had pets that died and she claimed they were poisoned by neighbors, but I don't believe it was neighbors.

After our dad left it got worse at home. Out mother hated my sisters and I. She would make us work, clean, and wait on our brother hand and foot. We would be hit, kicked, choked, slapped, thrown to the floor, things thrown at us and more by our mother and brother.

Our brother was now the man of the house, we were told, and we had to obey him or get beat. He got paper routes and my sisters and I had to walk and pick up the papers, roll them, and do the routes and never got any of the money. My mother sent me around with a jar with MS on it and made me knock on doors and ask for money on the routes. 

I finally was of age 13 to go to Church camp. We had invited some friends of ours to go with us. I told one of my friends at the camp what was happening to us. The next day during the big camp banquet she told her siblings and they started laughing and talking about it to everyone at the table. I ran out of the banquet, crying. The counselor came and asked me what was wrong and I never told her, anything.  I was terrified to come home and face our mother. When we did get home my brother ran inside the house and told mom what I had said.  She was furious and exploded on me. 

My sisters left home by the time they were 13 or 14 cause of all the abuse. So, this left my mother, my brother and I. I ended up doing 3 routes by myself. And yes, I walked carrying a double size bag that was bigger them me. I did this from the time I was 8 years old until I was 13, 

My mother was taking the money from the couple who owned the Newspaper. And they told her she had to pay it back or go to jail. She cleaned their home and I had to watch their two sons and get up on Sundays and help the woman throw & roll newspapers at 2 am. I would be vomiting because I would get car sick and when she told my mother, my mother was furious with me.

I would sometimes get to go to the teen center down the road from our house. One of my sisters came and wanted me to go with her and her friends. I wanted to see ehr so I did. They house where they lived was an apertament upstairs. It was very dark and they had a skull with some tubes hanging out of it. They told to to inhale like with a cigarrette on the tube. And they brought me in something to drink. I did not know it was wine coolers. I found myself sick and could not walk. My sisters and her 2 friends a male and a female carried me to the bathroom. took off my clothes and put me in a tub full of ice water, they then got me dressed and put me in the vehicle and dumped me outside the teen center. And I walked home. I got a beating that night from my mom.

Another time on my way to school I stopped by to see my sister. She asked me if I would like something to drunk. I said yes, she gave me koolaide and I told her it tasted funny. She said it was sweet and low. And said she would add some more. And I drank it and found myself on the bathroom floor, vomitting, She had put drugs in my koolaid.

When I was 14, a friend of mine told at school what was happening to me. I was pulled out of class by a teacher, and she asked me if it was true about the abuse. I deny it because I was afraid. Later that week I came home from school and my bags were packed and two men in suits where there. I asked where I was going and they told me for a place for troubled teens who don't listen toi their parents. I begged not to go I was frightened, They took me to a huge building and I ended up beign there for a year. 

Then they had a court hearing and my mother, my dad and his girlfriend was there. I asked to speak to one of the staff alone. They were making me choose between my mother or dad. 

I knew if I went with my mother she would kill me one day. She had tried to choke me to death on a visit once. She threw me on the floor and jumped on me choking me and somehow I got the strength to get her off me. And ran and got a ride back to the teen shelter. I never told anyone. But now I have to choose between someone who will kill me or someone who would molest me. 

I went into a private room and talked with one of the staff. I tolf them what was going on and please let me choose my dad cause him I could get away from but my mother I could not. I went back in the courtroom. And I looked at my mother who had not came to see me once. I said can you look at me and say you lvoe me? She never raised ehr head. I said after a logn wait I chooce my dad. 

At my dad's hosue him and his girlfriend supplies me with alcohol and drugs. She even had her 20 some year old son sleep with me when he got home from air force. His girlfriend kicked him out and also my oldest sister and I. We found our dad in an apartment. We stayed there slept on the floor and had no food, no lights, heat or anything, My sister took off and I did also because I was afraid to be alone with our dad. I knew he would never go looking for us.

I started sleeping under a bridge only one block from my mother's house and right by where my brother worked at a bowling ally. I hung out with the winos. I leartned to survive the best I could and done things I am not proud of,